Girls and Boys

I was talking to a girlfriend a while back and we both agree that the feminist movement albeit necessary has in some ways taken some things away from those of us who like being traditional women. Don't get me wrong I wants my equal pay for equal work but I also want him to pay on our first date at least. Besides most of us still don't have the equal pay anyway and now thanks to our so called equalty we are expected to pick up the bill too. We are expected to take care of a whole lot of things by ourselves. but wait, was that what we wanted?Did we want to do without men all together? Did we want to be more like men and worse yet have them become more like us? Well I must rebel!!!

As a woman I want a man to be a man. Yes I want him to take out the trash,carry the heavy bags all that and I don't care who knows it! I want him to make the first move most of the time. I want to use my feminine wiles to get what I want from my mate and I don't want him to have the ammo of "sisters are doing it for themselves" to use against me. While I do like the sensitive man every now and then I do not want him all the time talking about his needs and wants and feelings. Sometimes just sometimes I'd like a grunting caveman to sit quietly with his beer and his hand of choice down the front of his pants, watching the game, so that I his wife/girlfriend can gossip with my friends without him wanting to know what I'm talking about or worse wanting me to share my feelings with him!!! And last but not least I want to be completely in charge of the decorating of the house. Holla if you hear me.

Don't panic I don't want to turn back the hands of time I just want to enjoy being a girl again.is that so wrong?

Thoughts

Today on this Super Tuesday my thoghts are on my people. No not my black people but all people. What are we going to do with the choices we've been given. I am encouraged by the fact that we are coming out in record numbers to vote. I am hopeful for the future.I believe that
I am not alone.

The concept of one America has been mostly talk. The need to divide ourselves into different factions seems to trump our national identity but we need to remember that a house divided can not stand.

I hope we will pick leaders who represent us all. Wouldn't that be real change for a change?

Now make no mistake I believe that leadership starts with Barak Obama, But what I'd like us to do is become more informed, more involved and seek out those people who want to represent all of America. Truly one man can't do everything but He is, in my mind a great start.

Whoever you support please think about the country before you think about your own intrest. Look on their web page and see the issues that matter to them. Do they match up to what this American family needs? Then VOTE. Vote for the good of your fellow man.

Time

Are there ever enough hours in the day to get things done? I'm beginning to think not. I wake earlier and earlier and still I'm running out of time. This has made for many a restless night. So with no sleep I wake earlier to get less done because I'm too tired from all the worrying I did the night before.

I need a good routine!!!!! Don't you? I need to schedule my time so that even if I don't finish the task in the time I've allotted at least I'll be closer to doing so. I need to do some stuff that's just for me, like scrape these crusty feet or get out and walk for 30 minutes or how about this one, read quietly.

Right now my house is a wreck, I am over stressed, and nothing is getting accomplished. Yes I believe a routine would fix my problems with time. Let's try it shall we?

Why Not Obama

I've been reading every article I can find about Senator Obama and I am so impressed with him,his family and his courage to be honest about who he is and what he believes.There's just one problem. The negativity of those who say,Write and think that he can't succeed despite his obvious abilities. I believe words and thoughts have energy and if we are to change things we must first change how we think and what we say. Can we elect a black president? Yes!!! Don't introduce doubt on this issue. Did we get the vote? Did we end segregation? Yes. There were no maybes about it. We had to and we did. Now maybe you aren't for Obama. That's fine but I am and I believe he's the best hope this country has of getting out of this mess. Can one man change the world maybe not but he can set an example and inspire others to try. Listen to his speeches and tell me you don't feel hopeful for a brighter future. I do and I am not alone.So instead of doubting it can be done let us manifest success.Let us become active in the political process and get to know this and all the candidates and make informed decisions.Last don't vote for a person because he's black or because their a woman vote for them because they represent an America that you would be proud to live in. www.BarackObama.com

My People Part 1

Let me preface this one by saying that all this stuff is just one woman's opinion. I don't want anyone who happens to read this to get too angry about what I have to say because I don't profess to be right about anything though I do believe in a right and wrong way of doing things and I also believe too many folks are trying to make wrong,right but that's a topic for another day. Today I want to talk about a subject near and dear to me, the state of my black people.





Okay so this is a worn out topic I know but I too have something to say on it so indulge me for a bit. First off let me say that we really have come a long way. We are judges, doctors,owners of fortune 500 companies. Some of us are still struggling but at least we know we can achieve if and when we want to. Now I know affirmative action is taking hits, hell lets face it affirmative action, if things continue to go as they have been,will be ancient history. Look at New Orleans, contracts going to out of state companies, people being shipped to destinations unknown without their consent and not given the assistance to return. Most of these people were my people, black people. I say if that wasn't a wake up call to find out how wealth is distributed, how we as a people can become a political force again, to support one another, then I don't know what it will take. A rewind to the glory days of slavery perhaps?





People my cousin is a graduate of Vanderbilt University. She started their first black sorority and was the first black president of her dorm. Why still all these firsts? Is it the MAN keeping us down or have we become complacent? Do we think the fight is really over?This is a country that thrives on putting some class of people down to raise another and the web is a complex one. It only starts with White over black. There are so called scientist who are still dedicating precious resources to comparing the intellect of one race vs. another with of course the African always being dead last. Should we be asking why they are doing this HELL NO we know why! Let us then ask who's paying for this bull. Who is so invested in keeping this bell curve ringing. My point is this we are asking the wrong questions. Here are my questions.....





1. What ever happened to the black owned business and why don't we support the ones we have?





1a. Why don't we join together to make these business ventures?





1b Why don't we have a hold on this tech industry by now are we too busy working for Bill Gates to become a Bill Gates?If there's a sister/brother out there trying to do this why don't we know who they are? Let me know who they are please.





3.Why in the world are we still buying gangsta rap? 50 cent is rich enough to start talking about something other than shooting someone or slang'n dope. Why can't these "brothas" rap about getting an education? Also if 50 and those like him are making millions imagine what David Geffen is worth.I personally don't want to support any more soul numbing music to make him and cats like him richer.





4. Can we vote please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





4a. Can we educate ourselves about the political process ex. who we write to when we want our needs addressed,how we form groups (lobbies) to push our interest, and who do we have to pay (you heard me) to get something done in our towns. I know it's not suppose to come down to how much we're willing to pay but people mind where you live AND put your dollars to good use. I'm not talking about being unethical I'm talking about using all of our resources to benefit our people in an organized way.





5. Do we know our rights?





6. Are you a member of theN.A.A.C.P. or some similar organization and why or why not?





6a. Is the N.A.A.C.P. even relevant anymore? Are they helping to advance our people?





6b. Do you know what N.A.A.C.P. ( the letters) stand for?





I'll tell you, I am not a member of any such organization and it's starting to bug me. Yes I have gotten on my own nerves but I refuse to be a part of anything that isn't going to make a difference in the day to day lives of others. My fear is that the board meetings and benefit dinners have over shadowed the causes. But that does not excuse me from getting involved. After all in our chapter of the N.A.A.C.P. there is an award named after my aunt who died earlier this year. Her participation in this and other local groups, some of which she started, has lit a fire in me to be involved myself. This blog is a part of that.





And 7. Can we get it ourselves even if no one opens up the door? Can we pry open the door, kick the sucka off the hinges and sue the dude that nailed it shut if we need to. I think we can.

Sista to Sista

Wow it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I've had some technical difficulties with my pc,sorry. Anyways I've been thinking and talking about how women interact with each other. Off the jump I am a woman who loves women. I support them,uplift them and honor them. I also try to save a few if I can.But we all know we can't really save anyone who doesn't want to be helped so maybe save isn't the right word. At any rate I am a woman's, woman, my girlfriends are also pro woman though all don't identify themselves as feminist for various reasons that I won't go into right now. So... is it just me or has this pro woman thang gone out of fashion? What really prompted me to write on this was an article I read in Essence Magazine about "The other Woman". The story basically dealt with women who have affairs with married men and their take on what wives are doing wrong and basically giving voice to and practically validating these women and their choice to enter into these types of relationships. Now I understand that people who do questionable things need to, in some way justify what they are doing but this article went too far. What really struck me is that there was no sense of remorse or empathy for the wives who are affected by infidelity. These women were clearly out for themselves. I later read reader comments on the same article.Some women were outraged like me and others were thankful to Essence for giving them a voice. They talked about their love for their married boyfriends ect. and how the wives need to realize that they weren't giving these men what they needed ect. All I can say is WOW!!!!! Where is the solidarity? Where is the love? Where is the love? Don't we owe each other some loyalty? Some of these women would say that it is the husbands and not the other woman who is at fault. That these women don't owe the wife anything at all. Not sympathy or any feelings of remorse for their betrayal not even the thought that they are doing anything wrong to these women.I know I'm picking at this point but can anyone tell me why we don't rush to support and not hinder each other. This subject in particular resonates with me because I have lived through the pain of infidelity myself. I'm not ashamed to say this. I've survived and so did my marriage. I have a blog about it. Though I know there are many ways in which women undermine each other, sleeping with and carrying on an affair with a woman's husband is one of the worst in my opinion. It not only strikes at her relationship with the husband but also seeks to destroy the family she's built with him.Yes I hear you the men bear the brunt of the blame, yes they should know better, have more loyalty ect.but there is another side to that. These men are acting out.The affair is a symptom of a problem that has come to infidelity. They are mad at the relationship, their wives. Frustrated by broken promises, dreams.They have knowledge of the women they betray. Women who may have hurt them in some way. Of course this is not an excuse for them. An affair is no way to let someone know there is a problem. But..... What about the mistress? This is about women acting out against other women.Why do they feel free to do this sort of thing? What do they have against the wives? I have my theories. Some just want a good time, some only feel worthy if they can take something, someone away from someone else. Some don't know at first and later can't bring themselves to do the right thing. Most have the same excuse "If she had been doing her job he wouldn't be with me" smh. I also know if a man can be taken then he isn't yours but these men aren't being taken, they're being shared, borrowed, many of them have no intention of leaving their wives. After 6 months a year the mistresses must know this but continue.In reality they have entered into a contest with the wives. The prize a cheater who doesn't have the maturity to resolve their own problems.

I beg all women to stop engaging in the "cat fight". Support each other, love each other.In the workplace raise each other up. Mentor a sista in need. If you see someone doing themselves harm and they seem receptive to advice, give it.And for heavens sake stop talking about each others looks. We are beautiful. All of us. We are capable of bearing human life and pushing it forth. No matter what our outward appearance we are beautiful. Give a woman a compliment. Find a reason. The only truly ugly person is one who has a hateful spirit and even they deserve our prayers. Don't they need them most?

For those women who compete with other women, who interfere with their lives,their livelihood, and their piece of mind, ask yourself why you need to get over on someone else to feel good. Do you really even feel good about yourselves at all? Then do us all a favor,if you can make amends to the sister that you hurt and then help another woman in some way, big or small, to feel better about herself. In case you were wondering yes I would forgive the woman who cheated with my husband if she was sorry but she's not. Where is the love?

Fathers and Daughters

Fathers are an important and necessary component in their daughters lives. I repeat fathers are necessary. Daughters need their fathers love, acceptance and protection. I wonder if the men who no longer reside with their daughters even think about how much their daughters need them. How many women are unable to form healthy relationships because they lack the building block of a fathers love.I also wonder about the fathers living with their daughters who don't spend adequate time with them. Why don't you think it's important to know your female offspring? Why can't you relate to them. Why can't you even try?

Please don't get me wrong I know there are good loving fathers out there. I'm not talking about you so calm down. For all those fathers who do right by their little girls there are others who are so anti - woman that they can't even relate to their own flesh and blood. These poor girls become the recipients of all kinds of unrealistic expectations. Let me give an example, the woman who's taught to be totally independent ie. the bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever let you forget your a man kind of women. The Madonna/whores.Who but a man thought this stuff up? Why do women try to live up to this? I say It's their fathers approval of such ideology and the need to please their fathers. By the way mothers could help if they weren't in the same boat but when the ship is sinking it's every girl for herself.

My suggestion is this, and it's a tall order. Teach yourselves how to love women in general by going all out for your little girls. You won't make them a burden to some other man.In fact you'll be setting up a standard to live by. You'll be showing the world what you think she's worth. You'll give her permission to expect more from her mate because as her father you are her first love. Her blueprint. You can give her a strong foundation or a sink hole to build on it's up to you.

I'm asking for all the women who have that nagging self doubt, for the ones who are afraid they'll never find the right man. For the ones who think their too fat to be loved. For the ones who are so distrustful of men that they sabotage good relationships. I am asking for myself. Please let me see more loving, giving,gentle men. I extend an invitation to the grandfathers, uncles,and trusted family friends.Mentor a girl who needs a father.I know you know one.Treat her like a lady now and she'll reflect all that loving energy in her adult years.