Sista to Sista

Wow it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I've had some technical difficulties with my pc,sorry. Anyways I've been thinking and talking about how women interact with each other. Off the jump I am a woman who loves women. I support them,uplift them and honor them. I also try to save a few if I can.But we all know we can't really save anyone who doesn't want to be helped so maybe save isn't the right word. At any rate I am a woman's, woman, my girlfriends are also pro woman though all don't identify themselves as feminist for various reasons that I won't go into right now. So... is it just me or has this pro woman thang gone out of fashion? What really prompted me to write on this was an article I read in Essence Magazine about "The other Woman". The story basically dealt with women who have affairs with married men and their take on what wives are doing wrong and basically giving voice to and practically validating these women and their choice to enter into these types of relationships. Now I understand that people who do questionable things need to, in some way justify what they are doing but this article went too far. What really struck me is that there was no sense of remorse or empathy for the wives who are affected by infidelity. These women were clearly out for themselves. I later read reader comments on the same article.Some women were outraged like me and others were thankful to Essence for giving them a voice. They talked about their love for their married boyfriends ect. and how the wives need to realize that they weren't giving these men what they needed ect. All I can say is WOW!!!!! Where is the solidarity? Where is the love? Where is the love? Don't we owe each other some loyalty? Some of these women would say that it is the husbands and not the other woman who is at fault. That these women don't owe the wife anything at all. Not sympathy or any feelings of remorse for their betrayal not even the thought that they are doing anything wrong to these women.I know I'm picking at this point but can anyone tell me why we don't rush to support and not hinder each other. This subject in particular resonates with me because I have lived through the pain of infidelity myself. I'm not ashamed to say this. I've survived and so did my marriage. I have a blog about it. Though I know there are many ways in which women undermine each other, sleeping with and carrying on an affair with a woman's husband is one of the worst in my opinion. It not only strikes at her relationship with the husband but also seeks to destroy the family she's built with him.Yes I hear you the men bear the brunt of the blame, yes they should know better, have more loyalty ect.but there is another side to that. These men are acting out.The affair is a symptom of a problem that has come to infidelity. They are mad at the relationship, their wives. Frustrated by broken promises, dreams.They have knowledge of the women they betray. Women who may have hurt them in some way. Of course this is not an excuse for them. An affair is no way to let someone know there is a problem. But..... What about the mistress? This is about women acting out against other women.Why do they feel free to do this sort of thing? What do they have against the wives? I have my theories. Some just want a good time, some only feel worthy if they can take something, someone away from someone else. Some don't know at first and later can't bring themselves to do the right thing. Most have the same excuse "If she had been doing her job he wouldn't be with me" smh. I also know if a man can be taken then he isn't yours but these men aren't being taken, they're being shared, borrowed, many of them have no intention of leaving their wives. After 6 months a year the mistresses must know this but continue.In reality they have entered into a contest with the wives. The prize a cheater who doesn't have the maturity to resolve their own problems.

I beg all women to stop engaging in the "cat fight". Support each other, love each other.In the workplace raise each other up. Mentor a sista in need. If you see someone doing themselves harm and they seem receptive to advice, give it.And for heavens sake stop talking about each others looks. We are beautiful. All of us. We are capable of bearing human life and pushing it forth. No matter what our outward appearance we are beautiful. Give a woman a compliment. Find a reason. The only truly ugly person is one who has a hateful spirit and even they deserve our prayers. Don't they need them most?

For those women who compete with other women, who interfere with their lives,their livelihood, and their piece of mind, ask yourself why you need to get over on someone else to feel good. Do you really even feel good about yourselves at all? Then do us all a favor,if you can make amends to the sister that you hurt and then help another woman in some way, big or small, to feel better about herself. In case you were wondering yes I would forgive the woman who cheated with my husband if she was sorry but she's not. Where is the love?